8 Signs You’re Whipped

As a man’s relationship with a woman progresses, it’s no secret that he’s going to become softer towards her. However, there’s a definite distinction between being committed and being straight up whipped. If you’ve ever wondered whether or not you’re one of the many unfortunate suckers out there who has joined the ranks of the whipped, here are 8 warning signs.

1. You have to consult her before making plans

She believes that she should be able to make every decision in your life and you have little or no say in the affairs that directly concern you. You must first confer with her before making any plans and expect to be punished later for going through with them.

2. She uses sex as leverage

She uses sex as a weapon to get what she wants or to reiterate when she’s angry. Even though you hate this, you go along with it to get her to “put out.”

3.  You no longer have time for the guys

You’ve started to alienate your friends. You’ve become way less available (or not available at all) and find yourself constantly saying “no” to any invitations because she wants you to spend every waking moment with her.

4. Your friends have been magically replaced with her friends

She tells you that it’s no longer acceptable for you to spend time with your old crew and that you are only allowed to hang with this new group who oddly turn out to be her friends.

5.  She has ridiculously emasculating requests 

Basically, you’ve been turned into a trained dog who caters to his girl’s every need. She makes you constantly watch chick flicks and show tunes (even when the game is on.) She sends you to purchase her feminine hygiene products, expects you to be able to talk with her about other men being attractive, order “girly” drinks when you go out together and keep her favorite Kelly Clarkson CD in your car.

6.  She keeps constant tabs on you

She calls you 10-15 times per day to keep track on what you’re doing, who you’re with and where you’re going next with each call. She also expects you to call her multiple times a day and you even carry your cell phone into the bathroom to avoid missing her calls.
 
7. She commits you to events

Just when you thought your calendar of events was open for the next few weeks, little did you know she has already penciled you into about a dozen boring affairs you had no knowledge of. The really sad thing is that she does it without your permission because she knows she doesn’t need it.

8.  You’ve completely lost sight of yourself 

The ultimate sign of being whipped is when you look at yourself in the mirror and no longer think that you are interesting, funny or desirable. Essentially,  you has managed to drain you of all your willpower and creativity. You know you’re acting like a chump and her power over you has made you lose sight of yourself and how to function as a man.

Bottom line, a whipped man, is a sad man. If you placed more than 3 check marks on the list below, consider yourself whipped, and commit to reestablishing your manhood immediately.

-DFTM